My husband and I are in our mids and have been together for 30 years. The last few times, he found it difficult and lost his erection. The problem is that we have no intimacy at all. He has never been terribly demonstrative physically, and I wonder if this is because his parents never were, but now we never touch, never hold hands, never cuddle. At the moment, every conversation we have turns into an argument and, at times, it seems better not to talk at all. Our two children will soon both be gone.
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This can be simply down to the fact that sexual interest tends to ebb and flow over time. It can also be related to specific issues in the relationship or external pressures from outside it. Anxieties surrounding sex can also come from different expectations about how much sex you think you should be having. They may also need the setting and mood to feel right. The best way to do that is to talk to your partner. You might find it helps to take the approach that we use in sex therapy. This is based around taking some of the pressure off sex, and learning to enjoy it again — slowly — from the ground up:.
Those first several months of a new relationship are bliss: You can't keep your hands off each other. You're having sex once, twice, three times a day. You're having crazy sex, public sex, porno sex, hair-pulling sex.
Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand.